inside a coffee addict’s mind

Since the evolution of man (and woman), there is always been a disturbing force which separate man and woman from each other. It is an everlasting grudge between the genders. A war in which, who among them will dominate each other.

But the common conclusion, they always end up living together.

"Girls???? Gggggrrrrrrrrrrrrr … I hate them"
Have you ever examined girls? Studied? Observed? Sure you have. Of course, they always are the sick and twisted part of our lives, we played with them when we were kids, fought with them, shouted with them, courted them, loved them, we’ve had fantasies about them, cried with them(???), sent them mushy Valentine’s card(yuck!!). Well, if not. You better start doing it. So to initiate your feet into walking, here are some ideas.

Girls are much harder to wake up in the morning than boys. Always taking an hour in the bathroom. They are also the first ones who turn on electric appliances such as TV, Radio, Electric Fan and etc…

Statistics say that girls spend 20% of their lifetime facing or holding a mirror. And you will see more cosmetics in their bags than any other stuff. They have a collection of lotions for different occasions. Colognes and Perfumes for them is a must. They use different kind of techniques in applying cosmetics in their faces. Leaving the house without applications is somewhat impossible to them.

Often taking an hour to choose clothes. And must always come in pairs. (Red shirt must come with red pants, White shirt with Black Pants etc…). They always double check if there is too much exposure of skin to the public. They will wear short skirts but later cover them while walking and stting down. They always see every dimension on figuring out the right clothes for the day. The time it takes for a girl to get ready is the amount of time that a guy can decide what to do about his life.

They’re so much conscious about pimples. What’s with pimples? For them, a tiny dot on their face is like being kissed by the worst guy at school. It’s like a volcanic eruption. It’s like a meteor shower. It’s like hell on earth.

They’re very conscious about their body. Girls are much physically aware about themselves against boys. The weight and size are properly observed. You cannot say jokes about them being fat. You always hear from them in dinner "I’ll eat little because I’m on a diet". Though they eat little even they’re not on diet. In reality, they may eat a little but the frequency of them eating on a day is quite high, If only they knew that the less they eat the more they get fat, because of the tendency that they get hungry all the time.

Girl’s favorite hobby is shopping. 80% window-shopping and 20% true shopping. Girls like window-shopping and they’re a pain in the head when you bring them to a department store. They spend hours in shops looking for things and I’m still amazed on their energy to go to another one. They are always on a lookout for sales and discounts. They can’t stop themselves from buying something on sale even though they don’t need them. They prefer branded items. Majority of their time are staying at the garments and shoes section. They happen to like a lot of things but in the end they will like none. Some girls go to the children’s section looking for something that will fit with them. And it is very boring to watch and wait for them. They took a lot of time in the fitting room. And the worst of all, if she’s your girlfriend, 50% of her shopping money comes from you.

Girls talk too much and most of them are nonsense. Why do they always have loud voices? And when they speak, the sound waves exerted from their mouths irritably go directly to my eardrum? You often find them in groups talking and laughing. Love life, Boys and Boy Bands are always the content of their conversation. And they perform pretty weird moves while talking. It seems like they have tons of expressions for each word they will speak.

They always carry pocket books for trade with other girls. Stickers, stationeries, pictures etc… And I’m still quite confused on the way that girls use small bags but containing enormous amount of stuffs unlike guys who have big bags but you will not see a thing. They always prefer Soap Operas and watch them everyday. They have pictures of their favorite Boy Band. And possibly they’ll die not having them.

And there’s a possibility that they spend most of their day daydreaming (probably thinking about their crushes). They always found themselves in the middle a fantasy where they’re being saved and stuck in the middle of a battle between a dragon and the knight in shining armor. Sshhhhhhheewww!

Girl’s Friend or Girlfriend
Some of them…
Girls are so sensitive that you cannot say no to them. And they always see you when you’re hiding from them. There is no way you can get out of their sight. They always ask you questions like "Do you still like me", "Who are you with last night", "When will I see your parents", "Am I the only one", "How many girlfriends did you previously have" which are also the common questions that have been previously asked by your past girlfriends. Girls prefer you to stay at home rather than being with your colleagues and friends. She’ll call you at the house just to say goodnight. She’ll send you a text message just to inform you to remind her. It is like you must fill up the missing space of their life. They always want you to take them to places they’ve never been before. You must greet them or give something on each special occasion you will see in the calendar (Christmas, Valentines, How bout All Saints Day?). You must invite her on family occasions such as outings, reunions, cousin’s weddings etc…. It’s a weird thing to say, but still they capture my attention.

And some of them…
It is often hard to get their attention. Is it? Or they’re just pretending like they didn’t. It’s just I can’t figure them out! They don’t care if you exist. It’s like there is nothing between you and her. When you say to them "I love you", they laugh. A date with her is like dating yourself. Except when your rich and/or have a car, you can have girls like these in an instant. Well one thing I can say them, a waste of time.

And some of them…
The fashion-aware girls, the one I’m previously talking about. They care too much about themselves. They put a thick corrosive layer of makeup everyday. They think they’re pretty but they’re not! The chemical they put on there face makes them look older. The fact that when they are at home, you would not notice her , without the makeup and the fancy, colorful clothes they wear, they’re just same like the others… normal? or what?

And the remaining others…
Well, they are a bunch of nerdettes. They prefer science fiction books rather than you. You always end up having intellectual conversations. Debating almost every possible topic a man’s eye can see. They may not talk too much. But their brain is full of weird ideas. They are weird, Very weird.

In Conclusion
Girls give you headache, but they are also the cure.
Girls how I hate them, but I can’t live without them.